What About My Rage?

Part 1: What Do You Do When You Get Triggered?

It can happen to anybody.

You’re having what you think is a reasonable conversation. From your point of view, you’ve been bending over backwards to make things work. And your frustration with the situation is only growing, so finally you decide: “I’ve got to say something.” And just when you decide to do just that, you hear it:

“Well, maybe if you were nicer…” the voice on the other end of the phone says.

Now in that moment, two things happened nearly instantly.

#1 .You recognize that you and the person you’re talking to have been having two completely different conversations.

#2 (and this is most important). Your alter ego appears.

An alter ego is an alternate self, latin for the “other I.” It is the version of us which we believe (emphasis on believe) is different, distinct from our true self. Very often however, our alter egos are the repository of our true feelings. We deposit, hide and stuff our true feelings down there thinking that this is the right thing to do with our true feelings.

That is until you run out of room for stuffing. You’ve stuffed so much explosive material in this space that BOOM!!! the slightest of sparks sets it off.

That’s what happened to Nagasaki that day. Nagasaki is my alter ego. You may have. met her before. She’s a big boned black woman, but honestly deep down inside, she’s sweet and petite. I introduced you to her last year in this post. And that day, Nagasaki introduced herself to that little lady on the phone. And I promise you, though never she nor Nagasaki could see each other, that little lady visibly shrank in response to Nagasaki.

Calmly, quietly but clearly and distinctly Nagasaki said: “Excuse me?” then paused and hung up the phone.

Now this was growth for Nagasaki (as anyone who knows her can tell you). She didn’t get her name by chance. Superman transforms secretly in his phone booth. Wonder Woman finds a quiet corner to rotate clock wise. And Nagasaki? Well, wherever she is head spins in any direction, and POOF her mushroom cloud appears.

But it’s what happens next that I want to tell you about. I’ve recorded an amazing podcast episode doing just that, and paid subscribers get a sneak peek here. Let’s use this experience to be in conversation about:

a) how you deal with rage

b) the value of identifying you alter ego

c) strategies for showing up as you choose in ways that honor you.

This is not about making every one happy. THIS is about making the choices that move your thoughts, emotions and energies in the direction that you desire.